Overcoming Negative Thoughts After Loss

There is nothing like an unimaginable loss to make anybody feel negative. Through the devastating losses in my life, I had all of these thoughts.

Negative Thoughts After Loss

• I feel dead inside.
• I feel anxious, & depressed.
• Why did this happen?
• I don’t deserve this.
• I feel punished.
• I feel stupid.
• I am a failure.
• I feel so guilty.
• How can I trust again?
• Nobody I love is safe.
• Life is too hard.
• How will I go on?
• Will I ever be happy.
• Sense of well-being is gone.
• Why are people heartless?
• I can’t stand petty behavior.
• I hate mean people.
• I wish I had died instead.
• Why take care of myself?

There is scientific information about how the mind works, but I think about it in a nuts and bolts way. The mind is a powerful tool storing everything we put into it. The more repetitive a thought, the stronger it becomes a habit. This helps us be efficient in remembering things, but can be destructive when we dwell on negative thoughts.

When I decided to improve my life, I knew I needed to address my long term damaging thoughts. I started with embracing the mysteries of life. I decided I wasn’t supposed to know everything about life since I didn’t. I believed that I could transition my mind from being full of unproductive chanting to embracing constructive thoughts.

I believe it’s difficult for most people to think about two things at once. My strategy was to ensure every idle moment, including brushing my teeth, walking my dogs, and driving in the car, was filled with positive thoughts. I read or listened to enjoyable or informative books that resonated with me.  Some books that helped me the most are listed here Resources. I made a list of everything I’m thankful for and read it when I was feeling sorry for myself. If I was lying in bed, I would chant the affirmation “there is only love,” over and over until I fell asleep.

It took several months to change my mind. One negative thought didn’t go away because I didn’t believe I could stop it so I sought counseling. It took a year to deal with this issue, but I never have those negative thoughts anymore. On the rare occasion any negative thought pops up, I realize one of my old mind patterns is trying to get attention. I ignore it and focus on something better.

Continuously focusing on good thoughts becomes more automatic and old bad thoughts are archived in my mind. Positive thoughts support my mission to live my best life. I can’t imagine having it any other way.

Look up book topics of interest for your action plan. Read book descriptions and comments, then choose the ones that best resonate with you.

4 thoughts on “Overcoming Negative Thoughts After Loss

    • cathycheshire says:

      I’m so sorry about Dillon. My only child Jeremy died in 2007. I loved him so much, the pain was overwhelming. I cherish every wonderful memory. Please let me know if you have a question. Sending you hugs


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